Professor Gaia Bernstein on ‘Intensive Parenting’ and the Law

According to Health Law Prof Blog, Seton Hall Law’s own Professor Gaia Bernstein and co-author Zvi Triger  led in SSRN Health Law Paper downloads last month for their paper, “Over Parenting,” forthcoming in U.C. Davis Law Review. In addition to taking the number one spot at SSRN, Professor Bernstein appeared in the New York Times, Forbes Magazine and Canada’s leading newspaper, The Globe and Mail, concerning her recent scholarship on “Intensive Parenting” and the Law. These articles follow on the heels of another recent article in the ABA Journal. (See all below).

Regarding the general perception that “Intensive Parenting” or “Helicopter Parenting” is a norm appropriate for unmitigated aspiration, The Times writes:

Bernstein and Triger are not so sure. They cite studies that suggest what we have discussed on Motherlode before, that what they call intensive parenting (which others dub helicopter parenting or smothering mothering) can cause more harm than good. It is creating an anxious, dependent generation, they write, and it can “seriously undermine one of the most important roles of parents, namely, nurturing a sense of independence and separation from the parent.”

They fear that the trend is already being codified into law. In custody cases, lawyers advise parents, particularly the one who might have had less day-to-day participation in the children’s lives, to enter what Bernstein calls “the race for involvement.”

“It becomes a strategy, to know all the teachers, coach little league, text your children 20, 30 times a day,” she said in an interview.

Professor Bernstein and her co-author have also cautioned that “the law repeatedly incorporates child-rearing practices into mandatory legal standards and that we should expect to see pressure on legislatures and courts to turn sophisticated child rearing practices used by Intensive Parenting adherents into legal standards. ‘Some child rearing practices are desirable social norms but not desirable legal standards,’ Professor Bernstein explained. “For example, some states now place women who consume alcohol during pregnancy under civil confinement. Would we want to see pregnant women who do not to take folic acid vitamins–which reduce the probability of birth defects– similarly placed under civil confinement?”

“The authors warn against use of the law to enforce Intensive Parenting. Although research has shown that Intensive Parenting has important advantages, a rising body of research has shown that Intensive Parenting can seriously undermine one of the most important roles of parents, namely, nurturing a sense of independence and separation from the parent.  Disconcertingly, this research also shows that deficiencies correlated with Intensive Parenting place this generation at a higher risk for anxiety disorders and making poor choices regarding alcohol and drug abuse and sexual relationships.”

“Intensive Parenting is largely a socio-economic construct. It is class, race, ethnicity and culturally dependent and tends to place its weight squarely upon the shoulders of women-who are still overwhelmingly responsible for the raising of children. A hasty and uncritical incorporation of such standards in a multicultural society would increase existing biases and force Intensive Parenting on those who may be financially unable or ideologically unwilling to adopt it.”

Read the New York Times article, Defining a Successful Parent.

Read the Forbes article, Custody Goes To The Craziest Parent.

Read the Globe and Mail article, Give Helicopter Parents a Break

Read the ABA Journal article, Courts Reward Helicopter Parents, Two Law Profs Say

Read more about Professor Bernstein’s “Over Parenting,” forthcoming in the U.C. Davis Law Review, here.